As the month is drawing to a close, my heart is sinking. I wish time would go by slowly, and August would never end. The reason being, our daughter is heading off to University on the first week of September. She will now have to live on her own and far away from us. I know she is probably so excited about her new journey and the chance to be away from home. We as parents, especially a “mom” cannot stop worrying about our children.
The more I think of it, the more my heart sinks and dollops of tears swell up in my eyes. I am fighting very hard to not get emotional as I am penning down my thoughts even now. It is just too many memories, too much time spent together and the amazing bond we share. I cannot imagine my house without my girl – she, and I are like long lost friends to whom I can open up my heart and talk without being ever judged. So you see, it is one of the hardest things I am fighting with. As I spent few days getting emotional and crying my heart out, I saw a post from one of my friends who lives in India on Facebook. The post was about her daughter who studies in USA wishing her well for the upcoming year.
Suddenly, I felt so small. Here I was, living in Costa Rica and getting all emotional about my daughter going back to Canada for her studies, which is a few hour’s flight, and on the other hand, I see a person who is miles apart putting up a brave front. I reached out to her and expressed myself and thanked her for giving me strength. Her response to my message just blew me apart. Suddenly, my reference point changed. Up until now, I was only thinking of my friends who live in Canada, and their kids were going to Universities in Canada. Hence, to me my challenge seemed way bigger. In other words, my reference point was so small. As soon as my reference point shifted, I could handle my situation way better.
Whether we are consciously aware of them or not, we all have reference points. These points dictate what we do in our life and who we become. We have reference points for every area of our existence. They are what we look up to and what guides us. These reference points play a very critical role in shaping our path or towards fulfilling our own destiny. Our mind is so much more capable than what we think. The only difference between a successful person and who is not is the way they think and act.
The key to increasing your performance, in whatever area it might be, is to alter your reference points. You want better grades in school? Don’t study for a C+ or a B, study for an A. You want to be in better shape? Work out to have the best body, not just enough to get by. You see; most people simply want to “get by.” This is why they struggle along that line. For example, people that make an insane amount of money have a vastly different reference point than people just getting by when it comes to money. Success is all about having greater reference points. There is a big difference between someone who just wants a job to make some money and someone who wants to be rich. The point of reference is what can help you unravel this enigma.
If you want to be successful and want to create massive changes within your life, you have to change what is acceptable to you. Increase the threshold to a level where you will experience enormous improvements. Alter what is considered OK for you and aim higher. People that lose weight or stop smoking dramatically are people that have drastically changed their reference points. No longer is it acceptable for them to be out of shape and in poor health. They now have a point of reference that challenges them to be that much better. It is via changing what you are comfortable with and what is acceptable to you that you will achieve significant milestones within your existence.
Change your reference, change your life!